Crash and Burn
by the original KeT
Summary: Try your best to save him. Make him unhappy. Take his dreams away. I'll gratify him, serve him, damn him. That way, we both lose. Because baby, no one ever gets all they want. LukexEthan; Ethan POV


Summary: Ethan addresses his secret feelings for a certain traitor to a non-present Annabeth.

Disclaimer: Base material (c) Rick Riordan.

* * *

OOO

Crash and Burn

OOO

I know you love him.

Yeah, it's probably no secret around camp or your do-good friends, 'cause earnest honest people don't keep stuff like that from each other.

But it's only important that I know.

Why?

Because I love him too. And I feel for you. I really do.

Why?

Because it's so stupid obvious that neither of us will get what we want.

So pity me all you like. I'll pity right back.

* * *

Revenge isn't a cool divine attribute. Most demigods get to do stuff like whip up battle tactics, chariots, even gusty breezes. Me? I get the magical ability to bite people in the ass for the stupid stuff they do. Glamorous. And not real practical. What good is the ability to influence the course of events when you're not sure how your result is gonna come out, or when? Everyone can do _that_. They don't even know they're doing it.

I'm sure if I'd stayed at camp I would've got more training on how to use my powers. Or not. Camp sucks that way. If you're lucky enough to have someone take notice of you, then great. You're Chiron's darling? You survive. If not… who knows?

My talent isn't a showy one.

But he spotted it. He raised me up above the rest of all of us demigods, all us lost ones, the ones at the back of the room with pathetic impotent coals in our bellies. He treated me like a human being… I mean a real person. At least I have that to thank my crazy mother for.

But if you want the moronic deluded embarrassing truth, even if he didn't, I'd be in love with him. He could treat me any way.

Soldier drone. Punching bag. Monkey wrench. Paper doll. Anything he wanted.

I'd pretend it, for him.

Now do you admit I'm crazier than you are?

* * *

We've got different plans for him, you and I.

You want him to come back to you all penitent and noble. I just want him to succeed. You think you can control him. I know better. He's above both of us. He's a true hero, fierce and proud and beautiful. He's a force of fate, and neither of us can change that. Anyway, even if you did get him back alive and unharmed—which I doubt would happen—you know what he'd be? Broken. A shell. _Defeated_.

So you'd both be miserable—you because you still didn't get your idol of halcyon days back. And it'd be your own fault. And you'd know it.

But you wouldn't be miserable for long. Because I swear to anyone you like: if you took his dreams like that—

—if you dared to push him back into that cesspool of injustice you seem to uphold—

—I _would_ kill you.

* * *

I know you don't know I love him. You'd never expect it.

Of _course_ you realize that Thalia chick does because she's a _girl_, all the _girls_ are like totally in luv _forever_ with him. Does it piss you off? Your BFF feels for your guy?

Bet it does. You'd never admit it, though. That would probably be against The Code Of Friendship or something.

Well, you can be as P.O.'d at _me_ as you like. I don't care. Neither of us has a chance anyway. Might as well hate each other for the heck of it.

I don't know what _you_ have to complain about. _You're_ socially acceptable. Pretty blonde girl with brains and style, for a guy like him? Hell yeah. Skinny one-eyed Asian dude with 'tude? Not so much. I know he doesn't look at me like that. He never will.

And that's what hurts. That's what sears me every day. Every time he looks at me and I look at him, knowing the difference in the way we see. He's got the world to think about. I just think he's the world. That's what burns me every day, worse than pit scorpion venom or Greek fire or anything else that burns you can think of. That feeling every time I close my eyes—

—of falling. Crashing. Burning.

And knowing.

Sometimes fire is colder than ice.

* * *

A/N: Weirdly elated and disturbed at the same time.

I plan to make this into a series of LukexEthan, all kind of the same theme. Would you read more? Review and tell me :3


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